If you’re a fan of the Ghost Recon games and have been waiting impatiently like a sex offender in front of a Chuck E. Cheese for the some hands-on [pun intended] action with the newest installment to the franchise, get ready to spooge in your pants. You’ll be getting far more than an emo Sam Fischer if you pre-order Ubisoft’s upcoming Splinter Cell: Conviction. According to the GameStop website with some reserve details for those who plan to purchase the game before any actual confirmation that the game doesn’t suck, publisher Ubisoft will be offering access to an Xbox 360-exclusive Ghost Recon: Future Soldier multiplayer beta that will only be accessible via the Splinter Cell: Conviction disc.

So, what do you say to this? Yes? No? Maybe so? I’m all for it, especially since I, Yaris mother-f’ing Gutierrez, am a hardcore fan of the franchise. Hoping for the sake of my hard-earned $60 that Conviction doesn’t suck (as you can no longer pick up bodies; takes the fun out of piling dead dudes on top of each other in “weird” positions), I think that me getting some multiplayer beta time with Ghost Recon: Future Soldier in will ensue justification for the purchase even if the game is as bad as Carrot Top as a living human being, if that’s what you call him/her. The man looks like a juiced-up Pippi Longstocking. I despise his face.